Stop parenting me, Sis!

Something that bothers me to no friggin' end is when people arbitrarilly decide what you need to do in order to be a "good person", and my sisters rank right up there on the list of people I geniuinely hate as a result of such shit.

I don't know if it's the fact that their maternal instincts have come about full-swing or what, but I can't do a damn thing anymore without them trying to mother me and get me to do one thing when I'm engaged in another thing or telling me what I need to do before I do anything else.

For example, about a week ago, my older sister, Jenn, tells me that I need to start shutting off lights in the house because our mom got a $500 hydro bill. My immediate reaction was "Okay," because that's the quickest way to shut somebody up, but my thought process was more like "Okay, and why are YOU telling me this? Because you think I should shoulder the responsibility a little bit? I have a better idea; when our MOTHER, which isn't you, tells me that she wants me to attempt and conserve energy, THEN I'll listen. You, on the other hand, can fuck all the way off."

You don't say things like that though because you don't want to deal with an aggressive bitch in the middle of the night.

Or how about today, when my little sister, Liz, decides to tell me that I "need to get a job because mom isn't doing Misseds and Wants for Cathy anymore so she isn't getting the $1200 a month from that anymore and needs money from us." My immediate reaction here was "Whatever," a variant of "Okay." I also told her that with school coming, if she or mom thought I was paying any kind of rent, they had another thing coming.

My thought process, once again, was "Okay, and what? Tell me, what gives you the authority to act on our mother's behalf? Is it the fact that you're a woman? Is it the fact that she's forgiven your tired ass even after you've attempted suicide twice, put her in the hospital, and generally made her life Hell since you were 13? Or is it all kinds of other random factors that give you the authority to be my mother all of a sudden? If that's a concern of hers, she can talk to me about it, but you shut the fuck up because I couldn't care less for anything you say."

I don't say that, however, because I want to read my C++ Primer book in peace.

And then there was just hours later with Jenn. We were serving ourselves tonight's dinner and I was cutting up the meat.

"You know you're supposed to use a cutting board, right?" she said.

"No, nor do I care. It's falling apart anyways, barely needs cutting."

"Then why are you cutting it?"

"I said 'barely'."

I start piling some meat on my plate, when all of a sudden she chimes in, as usual.

"Save some for the rest of us!"

"Uh, there's another half in the crockpot."

"Yeah, but there's 6 of us. You have to stop being so selfish and think of other people, all you think of is yourself. We're supposed to be a family."

In my darker moments, the butcher knife in my hand might have gotten misused. Luckily, I've always known better.

I start thinking to myself, "Selfish? I'm selfish? Okay, maybe I am. But honestly, I don't care, because it's you guys. And family? I don't feel much of anything towards you guys, because I'm always the one getting the emotional shaft here. I'm the most misunderstood because, really, how many of you are gamers, or computer geeks, or roleplaying nerds, or are really into ANYTHING that I do? Oh yeah, our brother, Joe, is the one who I have most in common with, and he has a family to take care of now so it's not like we get to hang out anymore, not that we ever did much when he lived here."

I don't say that out loud though, because I don't need the drama right now. But really, it just pisses me off when people try to dictate to me what I need to do in order to be "non-selfish" or a "good person", because obviously these people haven't the slightest idea about how miserable I tend to be and how I get royally pissed at the fact that two bitches who tortured our own parents for years with their incessant drama before finally smartening the fuck up have the audacity to tell me what to do.

God, how I long to get out of here.